I came home from a hard day of work today to discover something terrifying… Little vile beings had invaded my house (at my mother’s insistence) and stood STARING at me while I sat, oblivious, at my computer. I turned my head to crack my neck and relieve a little stress when suddenly… I SAW them…
The vile Intruders!
Well, the ceramic bird is a bit of an inside joke between my mother and I. It started one weekend when I was out with my friends and my mom decided to dust the living room. Since I wasn’t there to notice, she turned the bird to appear as though it were staring at me. We very predictably like to sit in the same places on our sectional (opposite corners from one another, actually). It took me a few days to noticed she moved it, but then I decided to get even. I plotted until she wasn’t paying attention, then I turned the bird to stare at her. We’ve been doing that little ruse for some time now, and it can be almost shameful how long it can take us to realize its been turned.
The new, vile addition to the joke is the two gnomes. I. Hate. Gnomes. Like most children my age, I used to watch shows like Smirfs and David the Gnome, but as I grew older I discovered a book series called Goosebumps. In the original run of the series there was a book called Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes. Ever since I read that book I have hated gnomes. My mom finds this amusing… I find her amusement terrifying. Especially when it leads to her giving me a travel lawn gnome as a college dorm present. And now, these vile things.
Seemingly Innocent...
They seem totally innocent in this picture, but I assure you that as soon as you turn your back, they make angry faces at you. In light of the new creep gnome movie coming out (Gnomeo and Juliet) my mom thought it would be amusing to get a red hatted one and a blue hatted one. She still won’t tell me where she got them… or when. I shutter at not knowing how long they’ve been in that cabinet staring at me. I can live only slightly more at ease now, as I took both of them outside and locked them on the porch. I wonder how long it’ll take for me to stop checking the house and porch to make sure mom didn’t bring them back in…. and I wonder how long after that it’ll take mom to bring them back into the house >_<.
J13lue 